Breathe: A Poem from days past

I thought I was done with nights like these.

Done with tears and sobs and sorrows

And feeling that old pain that makes me want to just run out into the street and wait for the flashing lights.

I thought everything would change. Go back to the old ways.

But tonight

Is worse than its ever been

And I can't breathe

I can't shake this feeling

Who I am isn't who I really want to be

Not anymore

And I can't find the will to care

I can't hear the voice that used to urge me on

I can't remember how it felt look in the mirror and not hate what I see

And I can't breathe